What a relief, here at home, feet up in the air, House on tv, cats lounging around.
I get scared easily. In many senses.
I easily feel threatened, ditto.
If I start getting too tired, I feel scared. If I don't get enough sleep, I feel terrified.
If I start working too much, I feel scared of being swallowed up by it and never having a life.
If I have a pretty light day, I feel scared the guilt might swallow me up
Then I start getting scared of getting scared, and that's one of the worst parts of it all.
That's when the Fear takes over and guides my steps even more than it usually does.
I'm trying to use all this in order to learn what I can deal with and what I don't have to deal with, what I can spare myself from here on. Like I said some post before, limits and boundaries, my own. Money isn't worth everything, that's for sure. I'm exhausted. And it's definitely, positively, absolutely not worth the Fear. Nothing is.
But for now, what a relief. Feet up, cats lounging, a blanket, a pillow.
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