Wednesday-Thursday

It's almost midnight as I write this and will be long after midnight when I finish.

I'm not quite sure I understand what it means to be grown-up.
I know that many of us don't really get it...

Comingo tende a ser "tudo ou nada" - ou vale a pena ou não vale nenhuma pena. Dias mais ou menos são dias terríveis. Sei que cometo esse pecado de extremos. Às vezes um dia terrível é melhor que um dia mais ou menos. Aliás, dias mais ou menos acabam virando terríveis pelo vazio de sentido que me provocam.

Sometimes I look at the pictures on my mural...a collection of several life moments, a lifespan.....and I look at my young mother, at my father...in all these different ages and years gone by and I think: you've left me a hole in my heart. You don't know how big it is, how hard it was to be away from each one. How hard it was to come to terms with the fact that being with one meant losing the other.

Sometimes it scares me to realize it will always be there and I will feel the pressure closing in on it everytime I have to live loss, no matter how small it may be.
Listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB4dAdPu_lg

So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say there's something wrong

So I'm trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I don't know even where to start

Maybe that's a start

Cause you know its a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you are hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you won't land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway you're not here enough to care

And you're so tired you don't sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end
And it's strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands
And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
You're standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too

I will move you