I am a stubborn little person, I admit and own up to it.
I am stubborn because I refuse to take things at face value, or just because someone says that it must be so...I am secretly a rebel, the worse rebel on earth, actually, for it is a secret.
I refuse to accept that this is the way my life is supposed to go, I refuse to accept that I won't find something along the way of this godawful and confusing search. I am not in emptiness, there are myriads of visions, magic, spells, pits, flights, falls and - most of the time - just a plain old path in the middle of the woods, or a field, or mountains...or through a village. Lord of the Rings style. Maybe that's why I'm reluctant to leave this path, because it's so much more interesting than the other highway where thousands of cars seem to be stuck in a traffic jam.
I refuse to recognize any kind of "rules"to how we are supposed to live. Timelines, milestones, marks of success or non-success...I am an angry person, I know that now. Angry people are not easy people. But I am a bad angry person, because I don't take it out on anyone or make a scene.