You didn't lie to me, but I lived the lie.
You were honest, but I was cheated.
We got stuck in the paradox of complete honesty that didn't make any sense and left me to think: where is the missing piece? In me? In you?
I tried to make some things real and tangible and that turned into complete merde, excuse my French.
To exit the paradox I had to leave our symbiotic you-me and check it with the world, the world you told me would never understand, the world that would be unforgiving, the world that did not understand pure love.
The world, it turns out, was very unforgiving and scoffed at the whole idea we so carefully constructed and rationalized.
You felt betrayed, but I was trying to unbetray myself.
You felt abandoned, but I was trying to regain my sanity.
I hurt you trying to undo the hurt you had caused me.
There are no victims, there are no perpatrators. I'm sorry for the both of us.
Nowadays you leave my memories alone more and more, yet there are a few moments when it all comes back full force. And I have to deal, just like you do.
Non si dimentica.
Ogni volta in cui ti penso mangio chili di marmellata, quella che mi nascondevi tu...l'ho trovata
All I want nowadays is for anything to make sense.
"Let's build a house together, let's run away, let's start afresh, let's conquer the world, let's stay here and be reasonable. " Please, please, please play along with me.
Like Alice said "So long as I get somewhere..."
I'm ok. I know it doesn't sound ok, but I am.