Deep metaphysical thinking alert:
I don't understand why I'm working. Other than the money. Other than the traditional, must be able to pay my own bills way.
Really, this is driving me crazy.
WHY do I do what I do? Or better, what for? Is there an ideal here, is there a goal, a personal growth target, a change the world hope, or anything? where do I see myself in 10 years? 5? What about 1?
I don't see anything.
Oh god, I'm am in such a bad mood today!
I hate coming to this fork in the road. I usually don't know what to do when I get here and I get panicky so I just turn around and walk back to where it was a bit safer.
Alas, the fork is there, and in order to move on I must face it some day.