Why is my jaw clenched like I've been under interrogation for an entire day relentlessly?
Because that's what it feels like.
You make me confront everything about me that has not integrated and has not been accepted by me.
You are everything I am afraid of in myself and my past, and you are a living, breathing being right in front of me.
You are everything I don't understand about my exiled parts, about the parts that hurt, the hurt that never seems to heal.
It has to do with identity, like several tarot cards turned face up on the table and I am supposed to choose one.
So yes, I love you, you are fascinating to me, but I don't feel at ease.
You make me realize what I am not or what I AM but cannot be, at least I haven't figured out how.