Maybe i`ll get it in my head that I have chosen this present situation. I chose to stop working, I chose to give myself time to digest and deal with all the changes.
Maybe I`ll understand that I do not control so much that is happening right now, for even when I want to do something, sometimes the fatigue or the sickness is too strong.
Maybe I`ll put it in my brain that I am doing this for a bigger reason, that there is a child in the way and that is not "being lazy"or "worthless"when I have to lie down on the couch most hours of the day.
Maybe I`ll finally chill and realize that there is much more to life, so many other ways to give to the world than the classic capitalist working girl way.
Maybe my brain synapses will calm down and be soothed by these thoughts. God, I need you more than ever right now. Amen