domingo, 30 de janeiro de 2011

eu sou...

Nossa, você é a cópia do seu pai
Sua irmã tá a sua gêmea!
O seu jeito, é todo da sua mãe...
Sua irmã é igual sua mãe, é toda Thais.
Você é uma Johnson through and through!
Mas só os Bellomo's têm esse cabelo
A altura é gringa
o jeito é esse
o ar é outro
e eu, sou?

Woke up in the middle of the night, heart pounding fast and anxiety at 110%. There was a dream, something about my dad, something about him coming here. 
He's coming in 4 days, and for some reason this really freaked me out in the dream, like when the world goes topsy turvy.
I don't know.
I don't.
I mean, he hasn't been here since 2005, once again this whole situation is going to happen, where I have to re-introduce him into my life. We've seen each other since, but always there, in his life, in my old life. Something about him coming here always makes me uneasy. I keep wondering, how will he fit in? Will he like what my life is like? Him and my mom together in the house, how will that be? Will she be patient with him, will they do things together or will it all be on me? Will there be many questions about plans and future and intentions? I hope not. 

I know none of it will come to the point of my nightmares, but I can't help but be aprehensive; these visits always catch me by surprise in so many ways.

Many things happening this week, actually, not just the visit. There's the first week of school and my adaptation (as well as the kid's), there's Paula moving out of the house after 7-8 years with us, there's the psychiatrist after 4 months without a visit...there's a weekend of classes after so many months of mental chaos about the whole thing. Hopefully I can get my translation into somebody's hand, someone who will actually read it and feel they can do something with it. *fingers crossed*.

Well, em suma, good morning. Need to get my cup of coffee! tcho. 

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