I believe we all desire fresh starts every now and then, to scrub away the layers of habits, mistakes, frustrations and old settings and begin anew. I keep mentioning "breakage" for I yearn for a new start and fantasize about leaving this city and even the country; everything is engrained with something else that I wish to forget. Break free, that's what breakage would be. In previous "breakage" rants, I have given away almost all of my clothes, burnt about 10 journals or left for Europe on a three month scavange hunt for somewhere I could belong.
Alas, none of it really did the trick, although that is not to underestimate the powers of semi-breakage.
The next best thing, I guess, is to try to make the changes I imagine I would make if suddenly I found myself in a brand new life. What would they be? I would eat better? I would have the guts to go out and make a life for myself? I would study what I wanted without worrying about my parent's approval or anybody else's for that matter? I'd wake up? I would take better care of myself, I'd be happy?
So why not now?
What are these chains that weigh me down with every step and make me doubt, hesitate, give up and sleep?
'Tis an uncanny mystery it is...