sábado, 30 de março de 2013

3 birth dreams

For the record: 

Some months ago...after Cora was born, I dream I was pregnant again and suddenly I realized that I was in labor and the baby was about to come out...I saw her head slipping out and then her entire body, effortlessly, painlessly. I looked at her face and thought she looked like a baby whose name started with L and in the dream I thought of the name Lorena and Livia. I thought that's what she looked like.

Then I dreamt with another birth, I was in a large room with several other women also giving birth.  Joana was there with me, taking care of me and the baby was coming out effortlessly as well. I was lying on my side and could feel the baby making its way down and I remember thinking what a great position that was and how I could trust my body to do the right thing. Joana noticed that her head was coming out and shouted out to call the midwife (Melissa) but the midwife said that we still had time, it was ok, but I looked down and the baby's arms were out as well, so with my own hands I pulled it out, and I discovered it was a boy, and I was surprised and a bit apreheensive, worried that I didn't "know what to do with a boy" and thinking it strange that Cora would have a baby brother. He had curly black hair, and a little smushed up face...

Third dream, last night. I was approaching my due date and my OB was examining me and she did an exam on my belly button region and she said that I would need to have a c-section, because the vein there wasn't pulsing in a certain way. I was really disappointed and sad that I wouldn't be able to have a normal birth. She was also pregnant and was about to give birth as well, so she asked me to schedule my surgery a few days before her own, hers was going to be July 9 or 7th, don't remember too well, so I scheduled mine 2 days before hers. I was very sad remembering what it was like to go in for surgery, the needle in my hand, the feeling of having been opened up...

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